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[We precede this episode with a reminder to our viewers of what many may seem obvious but, we have no way of knowing if William Koeppel, Jim Rexroat, or any ’employees’ of the Modern Staffing & Security company watch our show. What we do  know is that they are unaware of the following and as a courtesy, we offer this information for William, Jim & Co., so that they too may enjoy the show!]

The Primary Objectives of a Doorman:

  • The Doorman primary objective is to do gate and door security in the venue he works with.
  • The Doorman primary objective is to assist people by supporting them in various ways depending on the venue he works with.
  • The Doorman primary objective is to receive and do appropriate actions regarding complaints in the venue he works with.


The Doorman’s knowledge requirements

  • The Doorman must be capable of handling variety of serious responsibilities.
  • The Doorman must pass comprehensive background checks conducted by their employer.
  • The Doorman must have a clean criminal or police record.
  • The Doorman must have positive, friendly attitude that is capable of interacting well with the residents and guests.
  • The Doorman must have some maintenance experience for they may occasionally provide assistance to the staff of the venue.
  • The Doorman must devote their time and focus in securing the vicinity of the venue by inspecting people who wants to enter the venues premises.
  • The Doorman must have the ability to respond to any emergency situations.
  • The Doorman must be able to answer some basic questions about the vicinity or neighborhood and also wear a complete uniform.
  • The Doorman must stand on his feet for a very long period of time
  • The Doorman must be pleasing and patient enough while opening the doors repetitively and is capable of working outside whether in a cold, rainy or hot weather.    source

[Scene:  Resident Cast Members (RCM) assemble in the lobby as doorman sleeps peacefully.
Doorman: curled up, fetal position behind lobby desk]

RCM L  remains visibly upset that her granddaughter strolled past sleeping doorman two episodes ago. She wonders how many others stroll by between the hours of 11:00 pm and  7:00 am.
RCM J increases her apprehension by informing the cast that on
Monday, March 26th, 2012 at 10:34 pm when he arrived home, there was nobody at the door – or, anywhere at all.
RCM J-2 attempts to one-up RCM J by announcing that when he arrived home 1:40 am on March 29th,  the doorman was fast asleep.
In an apparent attempt to trump RCM J-2,  RCM J sends a surprise announcement to the cast via a text message: Fri, Mar 30, 2012 at 6:15 AM: Suprise-suprise-Doorman sleeping again.  
[The cast chuckles in unison]
[commercial break]


[New character introduction]
This is our night doorman in a waking state.
Inline image 2
and should you be lucky enough to see him awake, ask what the “G” on his hat stands for.
[RCM continue discussion in lobby comparing recent stories of the lack of security at 350 East 52nd Street. Camera pans around lobby- the following conversations featured]
“On Saturday, March 31st the porter’s girlfriend was the only one manning the lobby – seriously – she even opened the door for me”.
“Someone left a cd for me at the front desk yesterday &  when I opened the cd case, it was empty.  It appears we may be better off when the doormen are asleep”.

“Last night I had a friend come by.  She got to the lobby at 1:50 am and the night doorman sent her up unannounced. He didn’t know how to look up my information even though she gave him my apartment number.  Even my friend found this to be unusual for a doorman”.
“Happens ALL the time to me.  What’s the point of paying extra in rent for a doorman when they can’t police the door, nor do they even open the door for you half the time!”

[At this point one RCM becomes irate to discover the doorman opens the door for another RCM – even if it is only half the time!  RCM storms off set]

One RCM made the following sign available for all to use freely:

More exciting episodes coming up! Stay tuned for Saturday Morning Shock!
followed by RCM’s are heard at 17th Precinct Community Council Meeting and
Mouse In The House!